I've never felt this way before

I screwed up. It's not something that I've done very often in my early life, but when I do, I generally go all out. This time most definitely tops the list.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just me that had to suffer, but I feel as though I've brought shame and disappointment to everyone--my friends, my community, and most importantly, my family.

I know that everyone makes mistakes, and trust me, I've heard it more recently than normal--but that's no excuse for doing things that bring negativity to everyone around you. We live and we learn, but what about those around us? I've always felt that there's at the very least a lesson in every mistake that we make, but I've never thought so hard about what possible good can come out of bad situations for those people affected by someone else's mistakes. It just isn't fair.

And isn't that the way it goes?

I know what good has come out of the situation for me--I see it every day, and it is constantly becoming clearer and more defined. For this, I am beyond grateful. Think of this as a sort of sequel to my last post about whether or not everything happens for a reason; I stand by what I said before. I believe we are given things to deal with, either out of our own doing or someone else's, and we must make of them whatever we can. Sometimes, these things just so happen to come at a time that may seem at onset to be the absolute worst; however, these same times may, and hopefully do, end up to be at the best times. Perhaps we were struggling with some sort of doubt internally, or a big question that we just couldn't find a concrete answer for. These answers may come to us in a time that is the most inconvenient; however, I've come to learn that what is convenient is rearely the best in the long run. Life ain't meant to be easy, and thankfully, it rarely is.

On another note, I've discovered after re-reading Mark Twain, that I love dialects, and am going to try my damndest to embrace my own--whatever sort of hodge podge makeshift mess that may be. Mostly, my practice with typing in dialect has been by way of text message. Ahh, the joy of technology, and a full QWERTY keyboard on cell phones to give me the freedom to express myself however improperly I wish to do so.